Wednesday, August 22, 2007
The Superhero blog
The Superhero blog below was originally written for the Nonsensex community in Orkut. This is being informed so that some references in the the article can be understood in its original context. The original community in Orkut is here (You need to be able to login to Orkut to see the above link) -- look in the forum for a topic of the same name
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Super Heroes who never made it to the comic book
...and that is a gigantic loss to human kind [and the inhuman kind like me]
10) She-Man: The all powerful character who could never quite relate to sexuality.
9) Lozenze-Boy and Toffee-Brat: Their legendary struggle with their nemeses, Flosser and Brushtapopulous ended in parents hating them.
8) Stripteaster: Died prematurely after catching death of a cold.
7) Makar-an-dada: Was sued by DC comics for 2 Dollars and 20 cents for plagiarism. Apparently that was all that original Spiderman was worth.
6) Yeo-Man: An alterego of a rapper called Baba Sehgal. The Baba became such a comic character, Yeo-Man lost out in the process.
5) Sourav Ganguly: All bongs thought he was a superhero. Didnt look good wearing his underwear outside the pants (which is a prerequisite for this role)
4) Wander Woman: She didnt quite know whether she was coming or going. Unfortunately opened the wrong door of an airplane while going to the loo. Her remains had to be scraped off the sidewalk with soap and acid water.
3) Ching Ching Choo: The first Chinese superwomen. About 33,000 were produced in 3 months. Unfortunately all malfunctioned within a year of operation and had to be recalled. They have now been imported to Pakistan, where she is known as Khalili.
2) Sal-Man: Considered the 'Hulk of the East', he too tore open his shirt at the flimsiest pretext. His cunning foe took the shape of a Deer and that was the last we heard of Sal-Man.
1) Me: An ET and a superhero? The publisher said they have heard the story before. Damn!!
10) She-Man: The all powerful character who could never quite relate to sexuality.
9) Lozenze-Boy and Toffee-Brat: Their legendary struggle with their nemeses, Flosser and Brushtapopulous ended in parents hating them.
8) Stripteaster: Died prematurely after catching death of a cold.
7) Makar-an-dada: Was sued by DC comics for 2 Dollars and 20 cents for plagiarism. Apparently that was all that original Spiderman was worth.
6) Yeo-Man: An alterego of a rapper called Baba Sehgal. The Baba became such a comic character, Yeo-Man lost out in the process.
5) Sourav Ganguly: All bongs thought he was a superhero. Didnt look good wearing his underwear outside the pants (which is a prerequisite for this role)
4) Wander Woman: She didnt quite know whether she was coming or going. Unfortunately opened the wrong door of an airplane while going to the loo. Her remains had to be scraped off the sidewalk with soap and acid water.
3) Ching Ching Choo: The first Chinese superwomen. About 33,000 were produced in 3 months. Unfortunately all malfunctioned within a year of operation and had to be recalled. They have now been imported to Pakistan, where she is known as Khalili.
2) Sal-Man: Considered the 'Hulk of the East', he too tore open his shirt at the flimsiest pretext. His cunning foe took the shape of a Deer and that was the last we heard of Sal-Man.
1) Me: An ET and a superhero? The publisher said they have heard the story before. Damn!!
Sunday, August 19, 2007
The name I wanted for this topic was too long
I wanted to call it "Political question you had no clue about but was too embarassed to ask"
The subject line above would not allow anything after "...clue about but wa". That didnt make any sense, did it. So, it would have been the obvious choice for a topic, wouldnt it? After scratching my hair (on my head) for a while, I said "screw it". 1:45am and aloud. That woke my wife up. I said it was not meant at her. She asked why wasnt it meant for her, rather specifically, who else did I want to do it. These are hard questions I had no clue about but am too embarassed to ask. So I let it pass, as always. She slept off after winning the round. I'll have my day, in the next 30yrs
Coming back to the topic after the brief storm blew over. Firstly, there had to be a political thread in this forum. Politics is nonsense embodied, and occassionally involve sex too.
Secondly, the government is in turmoil today. The left has disagreed to something that turbanned whatsisname guy wants to sign and has said so in extreme bongese accent, which has got all TV channels bring out an old graphics showing how much of the parliamentary pie chart each party owns. It seems that there are coalitions of all sorts that they were hanging on to for the last 3 years which we all somehow missed and now it is too late to ask anyone. without being embarrassed.
So let me clear it up for you...
There are these two main coalitions, the UPA and the NDA. The UPA, which runs the govt consists of parties like INC, LF, TMK, RJD (L), INC (I), DMK, DMK (A), BKPL (R) among others. The LF within the UPA coalition is a coalition in itself which consists of parties like CPI (M), CPI (ML), CPI, FB, FB (RP), DYFI, SFSU and CBB. The opposition NDA includes (but not limited to) BJP, AIADMK, TMC, TGP, TGP (N) and few N-E state reps like AGP, AGP (I), MHGK, GGLK etc. In cASE yoU are inTEREsted to KNOW the fULL cOMPOsITIoN oF OUR [i][...damn, whats happening to my keyboard!][/i] COA LIT(I)ON GOV(T) PLE-AS(E)USE THE(F)OLLO-WINGMETHOD
[The author had to break off at that point due to temporary insanity with capitalised alphabets. He is now back with the concluding episode of the intriguing question]
HOW TO MAKE A COALITION GOVERNMENT
Simple, quick and flawless, can be made afresh whenever required
Ingredients
- 26 Alphabets, capitalised, washed and not in any particular order
- Few commas, shelled and blanched overnight
- 1 tsp first bracket opens, freshly ground
- 1 tsp first bracket closed, yesterdays leftovers, soaked in rose water
- few spaces, as per taste
Process
- Put all the alphabets in a waste paper basket. Shake well but do not stir.
- Group them in random bunches varying between 3 and 7 per bunch
- For each bunch, throw in the commas and all brackets. Make sure that the brackets dont cover more than one alphabet per bunch. Also, all bunches do not need brackets.
- Your coalition government is nearly ready. Fry in oven for 3 months till all reds becomes brown, all greens become saffron.
- Garnish with the spaces. Your coalition government is now ready for service.
Hope you liked the episode. Please write back to us with your suggestions and questions. Till next time, dont be embarrassed to ask any political question (There is another thread for everything else)
The subject line above would not allow anything after "...clue about but wa". That didnt make any sense, did it. So, it would have been the obvious choice for a topic, wouldnt it? After scratching my hair (on my head) for a while, I said "screw it". 1:45am and aloud. That woke my wife up. I said it was not meant at her. She asked why wasnt it meant for her, rather specifically, who else did I want to do it. These are hard questions I had no clue about but am too embarassed to ask. So I let it pass, as always. She slept off after winning the round. I'll have my day, in the next 30yrs
Coming back to the topic after the brief storm blew over. Firstly, there had to be a political thread in this forum. Politics is nonsense embodied, and occassionally involve sex too.
Secondly, the government is in turmoil today. The left has disagreed to something that turbanned whatsisname guy wants to sign and has said so in extreme bongese accent, which has got all TV channels bring out an old graphics showing how much of the parliamentary pie chart each party owns. It seems that there are coalitions of all sorts that they were hanging on to for the last 3 years which we all somehow missed and now it is too late to ask anyone. without being embarrassed.
So let me clear it up for you...
There are these two main coalitions, the UPA and the NDA. The UPA, which runs the govt consists of parties like INC, LF, TMK, RJD (L), INC (I), DMK, DMK (A), BKPL (R) among others. The LF within the UPA coalition is a coalition in itself which consists of parties like CPI (M), CPI (ML), CPI, FB, FB (RP), DYFI, SFSU and CBB. The opposition NDA includes (but not limited to) BJP, AIADMK, TMC, TGP, TGP (N) and few N-E state reps like AGP, AGP (I), MHGK, GGLK etc. In cASE yoU are inTEREsted to KNOW the fULL cOMPOsITIoN oF OUR [i][...damn, whats happening to my keyboard!][/i] COA LIT(I)ON GOV(T) PLE-AS(E)USE THE(F)OLLO-WINGMETHOD
[The author had to break off at that point due to temporary insanity with capitalised alphabets. He is now back with the concluding episode of the intriguing question]
HOW TO MAKE A COALITION GOVERNMENT
Simple, quick and flawless, can be made afresh whenever required
Ingredients
- 26 Alphabets, capitalised, washed and not in any particular order
- Few commas, shelled and blanched overnight
- 1 tsp first bracket opens, freshly ground
- 1 tsp first bracket closed, yesterdays leftovers, soaked in rose water
- few spaces, as per taste
Process
- Put all the alphabets in a waste paper basket. Shake well but do not stir.
- Group them in random bunches varying between 3 and 7 per bunch
- For each bunch, throw in the commas and all brackets. Make sure that the brackets dont cover more than one alphabet per bunch. Also, all bunches do not need brackets.
- Your coalition government is nearly ready. Fry in oven for 3 months till all reds becomes brown, all greens become saffron.
- Garnish with the spaces. Your coalition government is now ready for service.
Hope you liked the episode. Please write back to us with your suggestions and questions. Till next time, dont be embarrassed to ask any political question (There is another thread for everything else)
Friday, August 17, 2007
10 reasons why I think I am an ET
10) I am not a vegetarian. Whoever heard of vegetable farm in deep space?
9) I aint afraid of no sky falling on my head. I know thats where I come from.
8) Who wants to drink water when you have Old Monk? They dont even have water out there in many planets
7) I love American Football. It reminds me of the Klingons and Romulans at some obscure level.
6) Space Invader is not JUST a video game.
5) I like frogs; they are cute
4) I have a friend who is a flying elephant
3) I dont hate Bin Laden. I dont love him either. They dont even know him outside Milky Way.
2) I am better than you, period!
1) I am an architect. I deal with space.
9) I aint afraid of no sky falling on my head. I know thats where I come from.
8) Who wants to drink water when you have Old Monk? They dont even have water out there in many planets
7) I love American Football. It reminds me of the Klingons and Romulans at some obscure level.
6) Space Invader is not JUST a video game.
5) I like frogs; they are cute
4) I have a friend who is a flying elephant
3) I dont hate Bin Laden. I dont love him either. They dont even know him outside Milky Way.
2) I am better than you, period!
1) I am an architect. I deal with space.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
Orkut
Orkut (http://www.orkut.com) is a creepy place!
Strangers come up to me and ask "hey, I like your profile. Would you want to be my friend?" Apparently, wanting to be his (or her) friend is the only reason why one should exist in Orkut. It is a networking site, and so there is nothing wrong for strangers to come up and try to hobnob, violate your airspace, encroach your private property, all in the pretext that a couple of line I wrote in my profile has impressed the fellow netizen.
Hey! I don't know you from haripada, ok. For all that you know, I can be a mutant martian (as suspected in my opening blog) banished to the blue planet for trying to stage a coup. Worse still, from my perspective if you think about it, you could be one.
What makes Orkut wierd is it doesn't happen like that in the real world. I can't call up shahrukh khan and say "hey! I like your profile, can we be friends?" If a few well written self proclamations impress you to start making friends, would you call up Mr gavaskar after reading Sunny Days and say "I like what you wrote about yourself. Can we be friends?"
No, I say! I am scared of strangers for the last 38 years, since my mom told me to be, and I am glad I am. I have survived with a select few who really matter, who really cares and who I know exists outside the Matrix. I don't need a second life.
Strangers come up to me and ask "hey, I like your profile. Would you want to be my friend?" Apparently, wanting to be his (or her) friend is the only reason why one should exist in Orkut. It is a networking site, and so there is nothing wrong for strangers to come up and try to hobnob, violate your airspace, encroach your private property, all in the pretext that a couple of line I wrote in my profile has impressed the fellow netizen.
Hey! I don't know you from haripada, ok. For all that you know, I can be a mutant martian (as suspected in my opening blog) banished to the blue planet for trying to stage a coup. Worse still, from my perspective if you think about it, you could be one.
What makes Orkut wierd is it doesn't happen like that in the real world. I can't call up shahrukh khan and say "hey! I like your profile, can we be friends?" If a few well written self proclamations impress you to start making friends, would you call up Mr gavaskar after reading Sunny Days and say "I like what you wrote about yourself. Can we be friends?"
No, I say! I am scared of strangers for the last 38 years, since my mom told me to be, and I am glad I am. I have survived with a select few who really matter, who really cares and who I know exists outside the Matrix. I don't need a second life.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Work isnt what it used to be!
I thought I would be an architect. And what did I think architects do? Well, to start with...
1) they design something. So I would come to office in the morning and over a hot cup of tea, tickle my grey cells to come up with some nice things, small as a signage or big as a township.
2) they keep up to date with new materials, construction technology and design trends. So i would subscribe to all magazines and buy books by the dozen and go through them at leisure.
3) they obfuscate. So I would wave my hands in the air and gesture with my fingers to criticise the starkness of minimalistic architecture as cold and inhuman and give examples to suit based on the time spent on point 2 above.
You generally get the idea!
so, I became an architect and after 15 years of graduation, here's what I do 80% of my time.
1) read through e-mails and minutes of all the 8/10 projects to make sure I am up to date with whats going on. Check and correct minutes generated by my office to make sure that all backsides are covered. Write emails to cover some of the backsides which were potentially getting exposed
2) Attend meetings, because everyone wants to meet me, and talk and promise. Come back tired and with very little time to keep the promise.
3) Make sure all the cheques are signed, work orders are executed, what we are doing are as per our scope of work, fees are being billed -- and more importantly, getting paid, sign all leave applications and travel vouchers, the 15 cheques waiting to be given to our suppliers...
You generally get the idea!
Practicing architecture is a different ballgame altogether they dont teach you in college. I dont have to enjoy it, but somehow, I cant avoid it either. Its a long time since I have actually put in long constructive and satisfactory time to 'think design'. I miss it.
So let me see what I can do about it!
1) they design something. So I would come to office in the morning and over a hot cup of tea, tickle my grey cells to come up with some nice things, small as a signage or big as a township.
2) they keep up to date with new materials, construction technology and design trends. So i would subscribe to all magazines and buy books by the dozen and go through them at leisure.
3) they obfuscate. So I would wave my hands in the air and gesture with my fingers to criticise the starkness of minimalistic architecture as cold and inhuman and give examples to suit based on the time spent on point 2 above.
You generally get the idea!
so, I became an architect and after 15 years of graduation, here's what I do 80% of my time.
1) read through e-mails and minutes of all the 8/10 projects to make sure I am up to date with whats going on. Check and correct minutes generated by my office to make sure that all backsides are covered. Write emails to cover some of the backsides which were potentially getting exposed
2) Attend meetings, because everyone wants to meet me, and talk and promise. Come back tired and with very little time to keep the promise.
3) Make sure all the cheques are signed, work orders are executed, what we are doing are as per our scope of work, fees are being billed -- and more importantly, getting paid, sign all leave applications and travel vouchers, the 15 cheques waiting to be given to our suppliers...
You generally get the idea!
Practicing architecture is a different ballgame altogether they dont teach you in college. I dont have to enjoy it, but somehow, I cant avoid it either. Its a long time since I have actually put in long constructive and satisfactory time to 'think design'. I miss it.
So let me see what I can do about it!
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Me, Myself and I[rene]
That wasn't a very original start to my blog, yeah, I know. You can probably smell the stench from the title right in your desktop. Well, I know its an overdone phrase to describe anything about self, but I decided to use it as a title of this first blog anyway. The reason? My scant regards for your taste!
Me, a good man. That's what I was destined to be when I was born, and that's my first introduction. Then comes the other credentials I collected as I went along tasting the apples that came my way. I am an architect by profession. I have two females in my life, a wife and a tiny 7m old daughter. Tiny, because she happens to be underweight -- so we are trying to make him eat as much as possible to gain weight. In a couple of years, she will reverse the gear and eat as less as she can to reduce weight, but till she can call the shots, let us have our way!
Funny, come to think of it! We were also trying to make her crawl a few weeks back. And now that she is, we are trying to make her sit still so that we can go about doing our domestic errands. We are also trying to teach her talk. I am sure there will be a time when we will ask her to shut up for a while.
Me and my wife are both architects actually. But like two doctors, we never agree when it comes to professional decisions. So we do our own things -- I primarily design townships and buildings, she does interiors.
Why is this blog called haripada?Haripada is a bengali, so am I -- 100%. Haripada is a sadamata chhotokhato lok, (plain, simple, small person) which is what I am. Haripada has large eyes, I have my round specs to offer. Haripada, of this particular song and the short story it was inspired from, is probably an ET. I am not sure as yet that I am not one.
Me, a good man. That's what I was destined to be when I was born, and that's my first introduction. Then comes the other credentials I collected as I went along tasting the apples that came my way. I am an architect by profession. I have two females in my life, a wife and a tiny 7m old daughter. Tiny, because she happens to be underweight -- so we are trying to make him eat as much as possible to gain weight. In a couple of years, she will reverse the gear and eat as less as she can to reduce weight, but till she can call the shots, let us have our way!
Funny, come to think of it! We were also trying to make her crawl a few weeks back. And now that she is, we are trying to make her sit still so that we can go about doing our domestic errands. We are also trying to teach her talk. I am sure there will be a time when we will ask her to shut up for a while.
Me and my wife are both architects actually. But like two doctors, we never agree when it comes to professional decisions. So we do our own things -- I primarily design townships and buildings, she does interiors.
Why is this blog called haripada?Haripada is a bengali, so am I -- 100%. Haripada is a sadamata chhotokhato lok, (plain, simple, small person) which is what I am. Haripada has large eyes, I have my round specs to offer. Haripada, of this particular song and the short story it was inspired from, is probably an ET. I am not sure as yet that I am not one.
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